In the Beginning...
In the beginning God populated the earth
with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach,
green and yellow and red vegetables of all
kinds, so Man and Woman would live long
and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts. Satan created
Ben and Jerry's and Krispy Creme. And Satan
said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And man said "Yea." And woman
said, "And another one with sprinkles."
And they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that
woman might keep the figure that man found
so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour
from the wheat, and sugar from the cane,
and combined them. And woman went from size
2 to size 6.
So God said, "Try my fresh green
salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island
Dressing and garlic toast on the side. And
man and woman unfastened their belts following
the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart
healthy vegetables and olive oil in which
to cook them." And Satan brought forth
deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak
so big it needed its own platter. And man
gained more weight and his cholesterol went
through the roof.
God then brought running shoes so that
his children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control
so Man would not have to toil changing the
channels. And man and woman laughed and
cried before the flickering light and gained
pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally
low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin
and sliced the starchy center into chips
and deep-fried them. And man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that man might
consume fewer calories and still satisfy
his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's
and it's 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then
said, "You want fries with that?"
and man replied, "Yea! And super size
'em." And Satan said "It is good."
And man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass
surgery. And Satan created HMOs.
--This was found in the
Internet and I don't know to whom to give
credit. I've seen other versions, and this
is my favorite.
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